its been ages since i last updated...have been busy busy, very busy.

internship has started. I guess outfitter girls at plaza singapura isznt all that bad. I could have been worse i guess. Yeaps im thankful and counting my blessings. Afterall it wouldn't help to be pessimistic seeing that i'm gonna be there for the net 3 months. Have had many surprise visits from various people too. Cant really talk while im at work cuz my in charge is like kinda wtf but its juz nice to see a familiar face. Like totally cheers me up lols. =) so u guys know what to do when u are at PS the next time.

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im sad. im fcking miserable and i don't know how to make it all go away. Im guessing that that's contributing to the frustration and misery; the fact that cant find the bright side, that i cant seem to find the solution to the problem, to make everything alright again.

i can't seem to put my thoughts into words no matter how hard i try. It's like all so jumbled up in there. Im like a confused kid and i hate that. I can't think, i can't smile, i can't laugh. I can't even seem to muster up a convo. with you. tonia ng keeping quiet for once...uhuhs.

i wish u understood where im coming from, how im feeling without me having to tell you. but i know u've got your own take on things and as usual we dont agree. I don't know what else to do except just to shove the issue under the carpet again and fake ignorance. I wish i never knew all that i've come to learn. I wish i never knew this side of you. But now that i know, I can't forget bout it. It's like this constant nagging thought in my head. Even if i could forget bout it all, then what....can i really put up with such. You are who you are and i never want to change or impose my views or actions on u cuz that just sucks. I would know cause ive been there. But but.....am i really alright with such behaviour? can i really put up with it and not be the least bothered? i ask myself..and i think that even if i have compromise at other times..this i can't do.

Im just so confused especially so when this issue has to come up when the other has barely even been solved or disappeared. It sucks double and hurts double much too. I...i just don't know what to do and i think its time maybe to just take a break, clear my head and decide what is really best for myself, what i want and don't want. What's worth to cling onto and what isznt.

times like this i wish i was a dumb ignorant bimbo. life just seems so 0much easier when you're clueless about everything and totally self obsessed.

hurt

tonia

FUCK even my computer hates me.

I just typed this whole shit bout how annoying jasmine mar and rayson is. How they are full of bull shiat and should shoot themselves in the head. How why i shld be blamed or even bear responsibility of their lousy sucky work attitude and lack of responsibility or usefulness as project mates for example.

The fcking annoy the shiat out of me even after the submissions have almost all been done. This is rubbish mans. Im too lazy and pissed to retype the whole shiat lars.

Gonna just sleep and they better get out of my head. Brain juice can be better spent on the losers ive got for project group mates mans.

Ohs and if either one of them happens to chance upon this, HI! Even if I get like a D for all the projects, I don't fcking think you even deserve to share that grade. Like seriously, that's how i feel FYI. I hate how you guys make me seem like the bitch and stuff, and you can talk bout me behind my back all you want, but seriously at the end of the day my work speaks for itself and you guys sad to say have nothing to back you up. I've never been a difficult person to work with, you guys were the ones who had to make project miserable for everyone. I don't see why i shld put in my best and let you leach and rip the benefits of it a single bit.

I need to get out mans and find better humans to surround myself with. Damm the lecturers who say they will do something against losers like these but do nothing in the end. Like whatever happened to being fair and wise or whatever. Seriously the next biggest piss factor whld have to be people who are all talk but no action. Those are just as bad in my point of view.

Just something to voice the frustrations in my brain. Please dammit don't let me dream of this BS laters gaian. It's like a nightmare that refuses to go away.