♣ Monday, December 29, 2008
Decided to go to church today and did lunch with the family afters at Glory cafe in katong. Walked past the tiny car showroom at tembling road when i decided to pitch my vespa idea to my dad again. That old man is as stubbon as a mule. Oh wells didn't expect anything out of it i guess, just kinda decided to irritae him alittle.hehs. But zomg at least I learnt that ive got an effing cool uncle today. He was like going on and on about vespas and how he knows this guy who imported his vespa from england and its a downright beauty! ZOMG!
Did some shopping at marina square and River Island for awhile before heading down to meet silly boy for dinner. Guess it kinda went downhill from there.
Had initially made reservations at Outback Steakhouse but decided to go with japanese at the last minute. Guess it's really my fault for not making sure, but I thought that the waraku at cuppage was still the same as before, which was my favourite for a period of time. It's changed so much though, its mostly tepayaki stuff nad alls, very boring and blah. Maybe it would have been wiserto have done ichiban instead. At least im familiar with the menu but yea. It's really not easy to keep making the decisions all the time and the stress of making the right one especially when another person is involved is enough to kill me. I've got high standards for myself. Sometimes it's just nice to sit back and let someone call the shots. Missed Ip man cause tickets were selling fast. Caught agnus, thongs and perfect snogging instead. Pretty funny show. Guessed everything was fine thens, but...
Just got off the fone with ellsie and drew- cause she decided that i needed a guy's point of view and her darling is apparently the best man for the job. Wasn't much help, im still really confused and all mixed up, but they did bring up certain issues that makes sense though im not too sure i like what im hearing. Shiatsss! I'm starting to be one of those girls who are deliberately delusional. But reality hurts, hurts so bad. I rather convince myself to believe that I mean the world to you, that you really care beyond the superficial, that you're just clueless and not because you just don't bother, that maybe im just being selfish, spolit and insesible here. Initially it was easier but can i still do so nows?
Can I really? I thought that if i was better, if i put in more effort, maybe it's me. Ellsie helped me realise that I should stop abusing my own self esteem.Zomg!!
♥being MYSELF at 1:25 AM
♣ Friday, December 26, 2008
Happy 19th Birthday Sherrill!
Happy Boxing Day too =)
zomg i just tried this that daryll sent me. it's pretty accurate. so according to the webbie, here's my ColorGenics profile:
Name: tonia
Date: 12/25/2008
Colorgenics Number: 35160247
-------------------------------------
Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people's confidence in you.
You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.
You feel truly deprived - not getting your fair share, but you have accepted the fact that that is the way things are at this time and that it is prudent to let matters slide and not hit your head against the wall -so conform and agree for a while. Accept the situation - nothing can last forever.
Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.
You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.
http://www.goldinuniverse.com/
♥being MYSELF at 3:07 AM
♣ Thursday, December 25, 2008
Blessed merry Christmas!
Decided to do some shopping after lunch yesterday at raffles and zomg i couldn't have made a better decision. River Island was having sale and I was having soo much fun. Too bad fitting rooms have a limit of 6 pieces of clothing max. Made it quite a chore to keep carting heaps of clothes into the fitting room time and time again. 3 rounds before I grew exasperated of the long q and decided to abandon the fitting rooms and head for the beckoning shoe sections. Hehs its always so much fun shopping especially when there's a sale, nots? Cut my moolah blowing fairytale short, narrowed my choices of must buys and left with 2 pair of jeans, shoes to buy silly boi's birthday present. hmmms i still have to go back to purchase that black hat, more shoes and that pair of jeans I had to leave behind. =S
So yea I guess that was when my luck ran out, while I made my way down to wheelocks cause Raffles didn't have it that is. Actually spent weeks thinking of what to get for him. Was toying around with a couple of ideas but kinda decided on the crumpler when he told me of his new prezzie from his 'rents. Honestly thought it'll be the perfect gift. Well they say if you can't top something, go with it rights? Unfortunately I wasn't the only one. Yea that kinda sucks. Hmm no wait, it sucks big time cause well yea. I can't help really disappointed disappointed. Was hoping to surprise him and see that look of joy on his face. I mean, that's why I put so much effort into it rights. I feel so silly. It reminds me of the time when I.. oh wells. Just another case of having too high hopes and seeing them crashing to nothing. Daryll will say i just never learn yea. =Z Well at least I helped someone pick out the perfect gift. Trying desperately not to feel demoralised*
Shopped around for Christmas gifts before heading down to aunt's Linda's place for the usual Christmas Eve dinner. The food was fab and it was awesome fun just gathering with the whole extended family. The little cousins are simply sooo adorable.
the two little ones and their 'rents. awwwwsss
and their older sisters. cuteness how they're like the same age.
with the darling grandmama x.
fooling around having a good time
spent the early hours of Christmas day with silly boy before heading home to catch up on much needed sleep. The festive season has been nothing short of amazing and i forget how tiring it can be sometimes too. Stayed home most of today apart from when daddy brought the whole family to prego for Christmas dinner. I love that place so very much! Too bad I left the camera at home though. Wasted. Having left my hp in silly boi's car last night left me uncontactable and severely handicapped, thus it was home sweet home after dinner. what a bother ayes..the no phone part i meant. Zomg I've still got a whole lot of Christmas cards lying around waiting to be collected by you people.
Christmas is a time of giving and im glad you liked your the little black guy, hehs. Ohs and many thanks for the Christmas cards sent my way and to Daryll and Marcs, thanks for the box of brownies and earrings. They are amazing and utterly sweet. Hehs, guess no matter what they say im still a girl who'll always still prefer receiving over giving. It just makes me tingle, feel sooo loved and appreciated. I'm doubt i'll ever change. =)
much loves for the season
xoxo tonia
♥being MYSELF at 11:11 PM
♣ Saturday, December 20, 2008
As of yesterday, the entire family is back in Singapore. You would figure that everything will be all sweet and nice after that little break they took, but nooo... mom and I got into an argument again. Like zomg she couldn't stay out of my way?!?! I didn't mean to lose my temper but its not the first nor the second time. For the gazillion time she had raided my wardrobes and threw out alot of MY clothes. Imagine coming home to find one of your favourite tee on the floor, used as a rag!!! Like zomg rights! I mean the shirt is alittle old (like what 2 yrs at most?), but it is meant to look old-ish, worn out,urghhhh!!! =X Did i mention that she still hasn't gotten me my birthday present? Yeah i know that sounds childish but im sore. I can't help it. I was really disappointed. I didn't even expect much, but to know that she couldn't even bother to take the effort to shop for a gift, any gift, it hurts. It's like gosh, im your daughter, don't i deserve some effort from you?!!! The excuse of not knowing what to get just doesn't cut it, not with me. It just means you didn't try hard enough, period.
Anyways besides that, today was a pretty awesome day actually. Woke up only at noon after a late night out with silly boy and all that tossing and turning in bed afters. Nightmares, don't ask. Met the cell guys together with steph and Jocelyn at parkway before making our way down to Cherlyn's place all the way in west coast. Super far, but it was worth it i guess. Caught up with the others while playing risk and alls. Dinner with all the other adults were awesomeness! The Christmas food, Fantastic! No wonder the say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. So true. =D Shiats does that mean I'll probs end up an old lonely hag? eeks!!
Hitched a ride back to the east and made my way to Daryl's pad. Yupps the guys are having a welcome back, early Christmas, December babies birthday party tonight. Just after 11 and everyone was pretty much pissed and alls alreadys.tsk! =) Pokered and won $10-ish. What a waste i couldn't stay for through the night. Missed them all so much when they left for aussie, and daryll, mans the uk and aussie did him good. Don't know why you were complaining so much over there mans. Grandmama's getting baptised tomorrow during the 10am service and i soo wanna be there. Gotta sleep early and stay away from the booze if i wanna be up early in the morning. hehs. Managed to get some pictures before i left though. grinnnnssss ;p
the mini fridge, best birthday prezzie ever rights daryll?
the whole bloody place was even messier.ewwwss
sneaked up on the drunk host
Shiatss! I just realised that I still haven't done my Christmas shoppings yets. No cards, no prezzies, no food! Zomg and im left with Sunday and Monday and Tuesday if im not staying over at Jocelyn's place that is. Zomg technically that means 2 days left!! Anyone up for running the Christmas errands with me? afterall what better way to feel the festive cheer and get in the mood ayes! =D
festive cheers never fail to lift my spirits
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 11:40 PM
♣ Thursday, December 18, 2008
Didn't do the doctors in the end. The thought of them sending me for a blood test, blah blah.urggh! Spare me. I much rather stay at home and cook up a storm which is what i did exactly. Raspberry jello! It always makes be happy, that berry red color and sweetness that tingles all your senses with each spoonful. blissful.
Was doing some shopping online when i came across this. The 88 color eyeshadow palette by Coastal Scents. Zomg rights, i know! 88 colors!!! Doesn't it remind you of the water color pallets that we use to have as kids! Hehs =) Hmm the reviews online seem pretty positive but then again im not too sure bout it. What if the quality turns out to be like you know, pasamalam-ish. Ewww rights! I'm so not gonna plonk some disgusting low quality product on my face. Should i take the risk. It's a pretty good buy and some of the colors are so prettayyy! Gotta make my order soon if i want to get it by the new year or even Christmas. Hmmm...
Thinking of doing some shopping tomorrow seeing that i won't be getting any done during the busy weekends. Mom and sista should be home by thens too. Gotta remember to ask the dad when they're back.
ur unpredictability is wearing me out
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 7:06 PM
♣
whoots! just came back home from hanging outs with anfernee. Haven't seen the guy in like what erms 3 months and he's still the same. Even sweet mans. =) Caught up with each other over dinner at Aston's. It's as amazing and as crowded as the one in Katong lols. Crazy guy surprised me with a cake afters. The whole cake this time. Like zomg cans. Super touched. Thanks guy. Can you believe it's been a year readies? Seriously. Anyways like i said, you really gotta stop spoiling me yea. Heard that guy! hehs, i might get too used to it. But yea it was awesomeness. xD
caught the show BOLT afters. Was pretty apprehensive at first, but the show is kinda good for a cartoon with a talking dog. Pretty cute actually. No wonder ellsie was telling me that i should watch it. I see what you meant babe.
Anyways daddy's back at last with loads of goodies. Missed him so much. Rashes on the hand seem to be getting worse. dad's really freaking out bout it, trying to scare me with all that drama. Probs head down to the doctors tomorrow to see what they think bout it. Maybe its something i ate, it's starting to hurt alittle but nahs im not telling the dad least he drags me to the hospital immediately. Even so, it feels good to have him back. =) smuacks.
sucker for all that attention
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 1:02 AM
♣ Tuesday, December 16, 2008
stayed up all night just to make sure i was awake to wave the 'rents off. Spent the rest of the day over at silly boy's place. Was doing nothing really, but it beats staying at home alone. I've always pride myself to be a pretty independent girl, you know travelling without the 'rents and hardly ever being homesick much. It only just makes it all the more ironic cause while i don't feel weird staying away from home all alone, I'm feeling super weird out staying at home alone. huhs rights!! i know.. *roll eyes.
Gosh maybe i should have taken up the offer and stayed over at silly boy's place. It just seems too lonely at home. Yes and I've got the tv, the computer and almost all the lights on. Tell me bout it rights! It's just totally different to come back to an empty home, really different. I miss my family. More than i thought i will.
Oh wells, 1 day down. at least I've got plans tomorrow. Kinda already miss holing up on silly boy's couch. Don't forget bout the pretty looking donuts yea =) Hmms i hope the sun is scorching tomorrow. I'm thinking of a tan before heading down to town and shisha's on the cards too.
will u cuddle me to sleep
and chase the shadows away
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 12:25 AM
♣ Monday, December 15, 2008
the 'rents together with the sis will be leaving in a few hours time. that means i get the house all alone to myself. yippees rights? nahs, only i can't help but miss them alreadys. just wanna knock myself in the head, now that the prospect of staying home alone seems really boring. why did I not want to go with them again? gosh tonia! can't possibly let them know how much im regretting this. mom will say its my own fault, which i guess it really is this time cause she kept asking me if i had changed my mind, but i stubbornly refused. Suddenly staying alone at home for a whole week seems really boring as compared to touring with the 'rents and relatives in tow. Gosh the fact that everyone has left or is leaving makes things much sadder. well, at least silly boy is still in town yea. hmm but somehow that doesn't seem like its gonna help my situation. Plans plans plans. I need plans quick! LOL.
just now, this one time, i wished i could drive. Then maybe i would actually be able to send the 'rents off instead of just waving them off at the door. boo hoo.
over dosage of coke
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 12:05 AM
♣ Saturday, December 13, 2008
its 3-ish in the morning and i still can't sleep. Like all the other nights, im pretty sure at bout 5 will i then doze off into a restless sleep for a mere few hours. Can't seem to get enough sleep these days. Really bad. It's been a week odd nows. Oh wells.
Anyways, thinking of selling my zoukout tix. Yea I know, really last minute, silly me. Text me if you, anyone wants it yea =)
craving attention and love
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 3:00 AM
♣ Friday, December 12, 2008
Happy Birthday to me!
♥being MYSELF at 11:45 PM
♣ Thursday, December 11, 2008
Heys guys for those of you that are meeting me for dinner, here's the place, map and alls...
I think we're meeting at 5.45pm, clarke quay mrt. Seeya =D
ohs and its dbl0 afters..seeya all there. 19 shots! HOOTS!
39, North Canal Road (Clarke Quay MRT Exit A), Singapore 059295
Car Parking : Apollo Centre, Merchant Court Hotel (Both offer per entry after 5pm and Sunday)
words really can hurt, alot
building the high walls, hiding inside
♥being MYSELF at 1:44 AM
♣ Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Just got home from ellsie's place. Been spending the whole day there apart from the time I went off to school for my MB paper. Try studying with those two, especially marcs, I tell you its impossible, but i love them anyways.
don't be fooled. it taste wayy better than it looks. Its the ugly mashed potato.
Tried my hand at whipping up some mash potato to bring over for lunch. Turned out to been pretty successful I must say. Quite proud of myself. See I can cook kays. hehs* =D lucky ellsie was the only one that had no exams to see to lars. Damm jealous. Hahas but yea guess she had hers weeks ago so it kinda fair, like she said. Still hahas. Met marcs at siglap to have our gelare fix before heading back to ellsie's place to keep her company/ study. And I really meant to study. I mean RVM paper tmr mans, don't play play. It's going to be tough lols. Didn't cover much in the end, which means ive got to wake up earlier tomorrow to finish whatever remaining chapters. Simply can't wait for the exams to be over. Then its off to town for some serious retail therapy. Totally looking forward to those Christmas shoppings and birthday prezzies to be done. =) I'm a happy kid.
Marcs you're the most amazing charming heart stopping guy I've ever known,*cough cough*. Hahs bet ure grinning like an idiot! you owe me that ice cream nows. Ding dong guy wants me to say that. hahas whatever rocks your world mans, if it makes you happy. Grinns, but i'll say this he makes the bestest float around. A glass of pepsi witha generous amount of ice cream and alittle vodka and whatever else he added inside, zomg shiok! Go try, its damm addictive. =)
sometimes i wonder, where do i stand
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 11:56 PM
♣ Friday, December 5, 2008
Happy Birthday Darieeee!!!
*smooker!!*priveate joke
Just finished my comm skills submission online. Hehs at last, im free. Ooops kkays maybe nots seeing that there is still 2 paper next week. Hehs soon soon. Havent been able to sleep well these past week. And by that i mean like laying awake til 4am odd like that every morning. Dunno whys also. Maybe its the effects of chionging that darn HTM report, maybe its... ahwells don't really wanna go there. No im determined not to think about it. I will not let you bother me. I'm stronger than that. Don't you just hate how sometimes your emotions seem not to be in your control. Hmmms. ah whatever, I like to believe that im too cool for that all.
So yea anyways, wait hahahs i forgot what i wanted to say. Oh ya, Ben and Jerry's is having Singapore's 1st ever Ice cream festival at Fort Canning tomorrow. Amazing stuff yea!! I know. Don't really know how this works but then again who cares when there will be ice cream. Loads and loads of ice cream. ZOMG i so have to go. Now i just have to see who wants to come along. Hehs its gonna be sooo darn awesome. yumyums im licking my lips in anticipation.
Should I go down to Home club tonight? Flo juz rang me telling me that apparently there's some Christmas thingy going on tonight and if i wanted to check it out. Hearsay the house pours and beers are on the house tonight, and cover charge is non-existent. Hahahs yupps you alcoholics and party ppl heard me right. Should I go, I dunno. Don't really feel like partying tonight, but there's like still no plans for the night yets and I don't wanna stay at home. Its just not me. I have to get out and do something so... well i guess I could join marcs and all for dinner, but..
Urgghs. you clever people probably figured that there's just one person I wanna hang out with tonight, but ahwells he's just too dense to get the hints, to do anything, so forget it. =S
Kkays gabbie just called. Gonna head down to parkway and fill up those empty notes of mine. Zomg tonia, a mugger! Hahs trust me its not by choice, really. I need to shop shop shop, who's in the mood to blow your kachings with your truely. Hahahs total randomness.
Tatats
ive give up, ive lost
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 6:25 PM
♣ Tuesday, December 2, 2008
i don't let on much but it hurts that you don't trust me but instead choose to listen to the telltales of those aunties. All you both care about is your face, your pride. Zomg! Congratulations you have officially made me feel like nothing more than a simple showpiece bought at an auction.
It's so hypocritical really, how you hardly give a damm bout what im doing with my life, but once a certain thing im doing threatens to start gossips from others, threatens to 'throw your faces' as you put it, you suddenly get all concern and poke your noses into my every business, criticising and laying down the iron fist.
It's no wonder I don't bother to let you know more. I just don't see the point of telling you everything then having you doubt me. I like you guys fine but what's the point really. It's just pretty shitty. Just shod it if you won't stand up for me. For a long time, ive not counted on you guys to. I like to think that im pretty accustomed to standing up for myself if needed.
Ohwells whatever. Now i know how my trust issues problems came about.
Thanks alot not.
so fcking pissed.urghhh!
♥being MYSELF at 11:07 PM
♣
After all that adrenaline rush fueled with EXCESSIVE and i mean really alot of coke, the rush leading to the completion of that torturing 10page HTM report has been completed and submitted. Even though I only got down to working on it the night before and the parents totally disapproves of the way i work, I'm still pretty proud of myself. 24hrs hehs! Hehs, its an awesome feeling to get off such a cheap thrill. It must be the after effects of the excessive sugar that pollutes my blood. =D
Been sleeping alot for the past day, probs making up for the lack of sleep i suppose. Time seems to have hit the fast forward button. It's the Decembers readies. Zomg so soon righttts! I know, I can't believe it too. It's me 19th Birthday next week readys. NEXT WEEK! zomg and I still have no idea how I'm going to celebrate it. Gosh it's so much easier planning the birthdays of others. So far the only concrete plan I know of is that I'm celebrating the birthday with Daryl and Chen when the whole ching chang gang gets back from overseas just before Christmas. The December babies bash, it's tradition helmed by Daryl. Zomg come back soon people, i miss you guys so much. Daryl you owe me big time, you broke your promise ass! =p
Still got the HTM test this thurs and the mid sems next week to study for. Whees then its the holidays! Can't wait, can't wait! =D Ohs and there's ZoukOut! Hmmms wonder who I'll see there. hehs. Okays back to my CSI and ice cream. SMUACKS!
dish out the love
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 9:49 PM
