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♣ Thursday, March 26, 2009

can you be so mad yet so darn hurt at the same time.
i tell myself, tonia ng stop being a stupid girl. You don't need to go through such bullshit, just detach yourself emotionally and call it a day. It's not right when someone treats you like this. It really is not right. It's stressful and it shouldn't be.
Deep down I know I don't wanna do better. I'm not ready to give up everything we have had and just put it behind me. I'm not ready to call you stranger. I'm not ready to let go.
But maybe things won't get better. Maybe it's time to call it quits. Maybe enough is enough. Won't you like it if life be a bed of roses, minus all the drama like seriously.

amess of emotions
whats love without trust
♥being MYSELF at 11:52 AM

♣ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

i was angry, i was hurt
i couldn't believe it, i was shocked
it seemed so deja vu,
those words I've heard before, they scared me all the same
after a restless night's sleep in tears
the brick walls have come up and any ideas of a fairytale were torn down
i don't know how to make things better this time, i really don't
it'll never be the same again, that i know
I've learned alot in just one night and maybe it was something i needed,
a little reminder to guard my heart, a little reminder to slow down
sometimes i wish you never made me smile,
because now i know how much i hate it when you make me cry.

every girl deserves to be treated like a princess
♥being MYSELF at 1:04 AM

♣ Sunday, March 22, 2009

i had fun yesterday and I had fun today too even though technically i did nothing =)
really wanted to catch the finals of BOLDERACTIVE at velocity today. I kinda miss climbing i guess. Actually no wait, i really do but... ohwells.
Had dinner at mingles again at last. Standards have dropped we agreed but i still love their ice cream! wheee! Hahahs and by the looks of it the boi has been poisoned by the boysenberry ice cream which is fab. =)) I'm loving the good mood all around. yeahs!

and jerold tan, my reward my reward cant wait!!! hehs =D

feeling the love
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 7:10 PM

♣ Friday, March 20, 2009

the sucky weather totally messed up the plans i had for today. totally sucks because i was really looking forward to checking Old Brown Shoe out with my homeboy. stinks much. oh wells at least I had a awesome sandwich, loads of green jello, coke and The Hills to keep me company for the whole day. Feeling much better too, now that the fever is gone. Zomg I'm so addicted to The Hills and I've just gotten the most random phone call. Ever.

im starving again. tatats people.
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 7:16 PM

♣ Monday, March 16, 2009

what's going on. hw did things take a turn for the worse again.
it seem like just yesterday when everything was all smiles
will we kiss and make up or will this be it
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 12:06 AM

♣ Saturday, March 14, 2009

Just came back from dinner with D. pongol nasi lemak and a bout of laughter is good enough to cure my bored soul. =) I've gotta say though, the guy really outdid himself this time. A whole box of cherries fresh from aussie, courtesy of idon'tcarewho is amazing. Hahahs they are like really big and sweet the way the local ones never are. Shiok! Thanks for sharing your loot. hehs much appreciated and in smiles. =D

Hanged at Denise for awhile before the others came along. Decided against heading to Tim's for the party tonight for a few reasons. I'm thinking it'll be an awesome party though. It's been so long since I last partied with that crowd. Oh wells, gotta be up early for church tomorrow anyways, so yea.
-----------------------------------------------
I've been wondering/ asking myself for sometime already, what is it that I want in life, if its worth it to hold on to certain things in my life, are the sacrifices too much, blah blah. Have been somewhat on an emotional roller coaster. Maybe its the stress getting into us or the fact that I've suddenly got alot more time on my hand and am feeling restless as a result. I don't know. Yesterday you asked me what I wanted, but I had no reply. I don't know was all I could say, which made me like feel totally dumb. Things have settled down nows. All that attitude, tears, fustration and whatever nots put aside and a truce was formed. But now after 3 glasses of chardonnay, I can't help but wonder again how long this truce might last. And when it breaks, what happens next? Oh gosh, why am I thinking such stuff again. Damn the wine, I'm gonna grab a coke, get my senses back and stop this mulling around crap.

It's a good day today and I'm a happy girl. =)

xxton
♥being MYSELF at 8:17 PM

♣ Wednesday, March 11, 2009

zomg I still can't believe I woke up at 7 this morning. And boiled whatsitcalled again herbal drink for that silly boi. Hahas I know they say self praise is international disgrace but whatever. I'm so proud of myself. It's so much less fuss to buy a drink from the store, all that straining, watching the fire and alls, thankfully it came out fine and he drank it all. Hehs! =) I think I deserve 100 points for effort and sweetness. NO? Honestly I don't know what has gotten into me, my head feels light. LOL.

Bought lunch over to silly boi's place where we spent the whole day just chilling and watching slumdog millionaire on his mac. Nice nice lunch and even nicer show! If you haven't caught it yets, you should. It's like funny, yet touching and alls. Totally deserving of all the Oscars they won. =D It's really really good. Hmmm hokays maybe it was the company and the cool ac blowing at us too. Stayed for curry rice dinner which was pretty nice. It was embarrassing though. Shan't say why, i'll just feel dumb again. Anyways yea so I decided not to take a cab but the bus back just to prove that im not spoiled and stuff. It wasn't too bad I guess and like 6x cheaper too. hoots! =) 5 more stars to me. hehs

anyways on a different note, haroz just asked me to go back for training. totally caught me off guard but it's really really sweet and nice and sweet. =p Guess im still on the team? Thinking bout going back. Looking through the pictures of Gravical, SMU recent competition kinda made me miss climbing. I mean it's tough but I had fun too thens. Garrick still scares the shiats out of me though. He's like one of those mega-ly intimidating people. Scary.
Sentosa-ing with the gang tmr, pray for good weather and hot hot sun!

just 3 words to melt my heart
xxton

♥being MYSELF at 10:08 PM

♣ Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The moon's simply beautiful today. So big, so round, so bright. It almost feels like one can grab it if you just stretched alittle. Prettay!
Just came back from sun tanning with ellsie and I'm soo burnt. It's kinda uneven though, hopefully the sun will be good on thursday when i hit sentosa with the gang. Can't wait. It seems like ages since i met everyone, doe technically its been like erm 2 weeks? I think. Was much fun catching up on the latest gossips about the others from the girl herself. Sure sounds like the guys have not toned down since I last saw them, which is like forever. Shucks I do actually miss that crazy bunch. =S Heard bouts tioman too. Now should I go or..hmmm toughie here.
Miss the darling miss the darling miss the darling. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow with alittle surprise? hehs. I'm in sucha good mood, I know. I hope "it" won't hurt anymore.

loveme loveme say that you loveme
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 8:26 PM

♣ Monday, March 9, 2009

it rained thus poof went the plans to tan with ellsie. Bothersome weather, really.

tonia ng misses:

-pigging out over globs of ice cream
-sushi and hokkien mee, and satay too
-chilling and gossiping with EVERYONE
-mr sun. mr golden sun
-home cooked food. good home cooked food
-sisha-ing till the world starts to spin
-partying up a storm
-doing fun things, exploring fun places
-going by the beach and catching the sunset
-travelling and spending exorbitant amount of moolahs
-candy floss and honey coated popcorn
-your intoxicating scent

zomg she's totally pms-ing again, being all hurtful. Like wtf. Seriously why do i even bother sometimes. Times like now I ask, why do I let myself care even that little bit. Talk about putting a damper on my mood. She's fab, really just fabulous.

xxton
♥being MYSELF at 6:58 PM

♣ Sunday, March 8, 2009

Almost the 2nd week into the holidays and i already feel like a slacker. Usually i would be working my butt off, seeing if i could pull off more moolahs than the previous holiday period. Maybe I should just stop being so picky and land myself a job already, if so just to past time. Already I'm getting bored and running out of places to go. Singapore is just so boring. Take yesterday for example, dinner was fab but afters we just ran out of ideas of places to go. People, let me in on your secret on how you guys manage to keep yourselves entertained here o0n our sunny island please. Places, places, I need new places to check out pronto. LOL, anyways on a totally random note, I have a sudden urge to play bummer cars. Yea, you know those in amusement parks. Do we even have those around anymore? LOL. hmm a pint of strawberry ice cream would be good nows. aww darn cravings! =)
at least we're taking better pictures. sheesh




overlyshelteredbimbo nomore

xxton
♥being MYSELF at 8:32 PM

♣ Saturday, March 7, 2009

okays so lets see... I've slept for bouts 15 hrs since last night and i still feel lethargic. Must be the weather. Definitely. Yesterday morning wasn't so bad i guess. It was awful but well at least I had my loves accompanying me through the whole shiat. Definitely made things better. I've learnt my lesson though, never again i promise. Decided to head back home with silly boi afters to catch some shows and just lazed the whole afternoon away. Totally felt better afterwards, even if i did managed to burn the whole bag of popcorn. That was like just..disappointing mans. Funny but very disappointing.



I want my kisses. It's the 7th yet again. yeahness!
xxton

♥being MYSELF at 5:03 PM

♣ Wednesday, March 4, 2009

michelle, gelare, late night mackers and my silly boi made yesterday much better. at least for brief moments I was able to set everything else aside and just enjoy myself. The hugs of comfort, the shoulders to lean on and attempts to distract me, to make me smile, thanks you both. Especially you silly, you who always resort to cheat tactics, tickling doesn't count as a fair way of making me smile, you know! tsk tsk! =) grinns*

I just pray it'll be all over soon. Anyways on another note, I'm going to club hop with the girls tonight. Happy Birthday Si Hui! Haven't club for ages, it'll be fun to catch up and party with the girls again yea. looking forward to tonight? maybe 4.5 outta a scale of 10.
Hoots! at last blogger's photo uploader is working fine again! =)

doodles in pink! i wished i had markers ;p

act studious and ignore me only. hurrs

really bored ppl take snaps of shoes

lurves girlfriend. 10 yrs and counting?

love tuesdays like yesterday

xxton
♥being MYSELF at 1:20 PM

♣ Monday, March 2, 2009

its tomorrow and i can't seem to settle those nerves and tummy so to speak.
im worried sick.
♥being MYSELF at 7:42 PM