♣ Saturday, November 1, 2008
so last night was spent out with silly boy. This year's halloween saw me meeting up with silly boi, tagging along to zouk to meet some of his friends, missing ellsie marcs and the rest cause they decided to be fashionable late, heading to haji lane for some shisha and wedges therapy, getting really messed up by the shisha * urggh gross*, throwing some me rules out of the window and making a detour before heading home at 3am. Don't really want to talk about it really. Thinking back...oh wells whatever! Halloween was not what i expected but at least there's still my birthday and Christmas to look forward. Quit brooding over halloween, its passe readies as marcs puts it. =) God, please make december awesome for me. I'm not asking for much, just please don't let it be a stinker. And don't you start judging me and calling me shallow, cause unless you're a Grinch, you don't want your holz to stink too.
Was i really out of line yesterday? Maybe alittle, but not without reason. If you listened and was more sensitive, maybe you wouldn't be so quick to pass your judgement on my attitude. As I tried to find the right words to explain how i was feeling, you already came to your conclusion and i saw no point in trying anymore. There was things i could have said to defend myself and i would have but was it really necessary, i thought not. The night was still young and i simply refused to ruin Halloween. Whatever self control i had went to holding back my tongue and keeping my temper, allowing myself to lose myself with the shisha pipe. I've never been like this, this feeling so strange. vulnerable, insecure, unsure, foreign feeling that you bring out of me. can i really be part of this game. to act with the heart or with logic. Like they say, I've changed. who is tonia, who am i now.
I missed out on today's Climb On competition.
fumbling for the right words
xxton
♥being MYSELF at 7:16 PM
